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Static X: Cannibal

23/04/07  ||  Lord K Philipson

This album is missing one of those hideous stickers saying something like:

“Warning! Explicit content! Penis! Repetitive. Penis! Tedious. Penis! Fucken. Penis! Bullshit. Penis!”

Static X is one of those bands who never managed to compose one single fucken decent tune in their whole career. I have no idea if it’s thanx to that ridiculous haircut that “vocalist” Dave/Leif/Gary/Olof Static’s got, but ridiculous it fucken is. Just like Static X’s goddamned bullshit disguised as music.

This is the very core of what makes “new” American metal an abomination. Static X is exactly everything that makes me loathe this type of music. They do it all by the book, but add repulsive, misplaced electronics to make the soup even worse. Kinda like putting in horseshit in a dish made of cowshit. Salt and pepper not included, for full effect.

Static X plays the same chugga chugga riff in each and every song, making this mess repetitive as fuck, not to mention completely abominable. I have no idea what these guys are thinking, but whatever they set their minds on when composing music, it’s time to muthafucking STOP. It’s time to give it up. It’s time to kill this band completely dead. And someone better make sure that no one in this band ever participates in something even remotely close to being labeled as music again.

Note to Warner Music Group: Drop this band like a dead vagina and deny the fact you ever signed them.

These guys are a fucken, fucken disgrace.

1/10. This single point is based solely on the fact that the bass sound is good here and there.

  • Information
  • Released: 2007
  • Label: Warner Music Group
  • Website: www.static-x.com
  • Band
  • Wayne Static: vocals, one-riff guitar, programming
  • Tony Campos: bass, backing vocals
  • Koichi Fukuda: lead guitar, keyboards, programming
  • Nick Oshiro: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Cannibal
  • 02. No Submission
  • 03. Behemoth
  • 04. Chemical Logic
  • 05. Destroyer
  • 06. Forty Ways
  • 07. Chroma-Matic
  • 08. Cuts You Up
  • 09. Reptile
  • 10. Electric Pulse
  • 11. Goat
  • 12. Team Hate
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